guided by a new era

The battery in the van is dead. I had an orthodontist appointment today, and was going to drive myself there, but the stupid car wouldn't start. So asked my neighbors if they could give me a ride (it would cost us money if I missed the appointment), and they did. I got to the office a few minutes late, and what do you know, my appointment was actually tomorrow. They squeezed me in anyway and I am not-so-happily sucking on my new permanent retainers, but it was still a bother and I have no idea how the van's battery died. I told my mom that we should save up some money and trade the money and the van in for a Honda Odyssey, but she didn't think it would be worth it. Given current gas prices and the fact that the stupid Ford we currently own has only been giving us problems since we got it, I'm thinking we would have benefited from spending a couple extra thousand to get a used Odyssey.

The other day xolola and I went to IKEA, just for kicks. Don't tease. Then we went to Target to actually spend money, and I got some awesome new stuff. We also dropped by Claire's, which I discovered sells a lot of cute stuff. So I'm saving up money to go shopping there.

I've been doing research on make-up, because I'm sick of the cheap stuff that gives me no coverage and is impossible to apply. What would you all suggest that's cheap, but is still good make-up? I've mostly been looking at Covergirl and L'Oreal Paris, and so far I like their stuff, but L'Oreal is expensive and I'm a little iffy about whether or not Covergirl's products are any good.

I'm sick of this. I'm sick of a lot of things.

I'm sick of my stupid paranoia. Got only three hours of sleep last night.

I'm also sick of my friends completely forgetting about me. I sat on the cold ledge, in front of a cold window, all lunch long waiting for them. The only friend I saw was Esty, and then Sevde, who started to approach me and then turned around and went somewhere else.

I asked Sarah what the hell was going on (because this is the SECOND TIME this has happened) and she said that they were up on the third floor. Apparently they looked for me, but I guess there wasn't much effort put into it because I was at the same place that we always eat lunch. And Sevde saw me and didn't bother to say anything about it.

Everyone one else in our group was totally oblivious to my absence. No "where were you at lunch?" or anything like that. Thank you so much, I feel SO cared about.

I don't think I'd care as much about this if they all weren't so obsessed with not being "abandoned". It's the hypocrisy and apathy that pisses me off, really. Nobody else in our group is treated like this. If someone doesn't show up at lunch it's because they had something to make up or weren't at school. And some of them take so long to get their lunch or do other things, I didn't think that they were just eating somewhere else in the school. Because I assumed they'd be kind enough to go get me.

I guess that's expecting too much, though. Maybe I'll start eating lunch with Gussie in the art room or something.

Okay, WUT.

We had a sub today for Kris Ann, who is apparently very sick. French III (third block) got to watch a movie. Spanish III? Had to do group work all hour. She also dumped us with a lot of homework that is actually pretty easy, but is still very boring and a large amount. I seriously think she hates us.

Maybe it's because we sabo'd.

Lit was actually fun for once, because we had to get into groups of four and critique each other's essays. Mollie pronounced "character" "chairacter", and Blythe's essay was so amazingly professional and great. Mollie's had the most humor in it, with her "suicidal pond".

Sevde and Sarah actually remembered that I exist, and came outside to eat lunch. They keep telling me that they'll wait at their lockers for me (theirs are right next to each other on the third floor, while mine is on the first), but whenever I come back up after getting my lunch from my locker, they aren't there. Thanks, guys.

I know I said that I have lots of homework.

I'll get to that as soon as I make this post. xD

For one, I changed all of my userpics so that they fit my mood now. =D

Second, I've been thinking about my friends and friendships.

( And I'm going to post about it )