guided by a new era

please excuse the caps, I am in the midst of unrivaled joy.

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 21:26:44 GMT

I JUST GOT INTO KALAMAZOO COLLEGE AND THEY ARE GIVING ME THEIR PRESIDENTIAL SCHOLARSHIP OF $48,000.

omg omg omg omg omggggggg.

FAILURE IS IMMINENT.

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 19:43:07 GMT

We're on the abortion unit of my philosophy class. And it is filled with fail, as expected.

The unit centers around a group of readings we have to do. None of the writers are 100% pro-choice; there are two pro-lifers and two pro-choice-buts. The first of the latter group is "pro-choice-unless-I-deem-your-reasons-stupid", and the second is all about time restrictions. Our assignment for tonight is to read the other pro-lifer's essay and critique her characteristics of what makes something a person. I'll have fun shredding her argument, but all the same (and I will sound sooo narrow-minded when I say this, but believe me, I've heard it all) I do not want to have to slog through pro-life drivel that is all about the fetus. It's bad enough that our class discussions only mention the woman as an after thought, as though she were barely relevant, and that the entire discussion is made in terms of the fetus. I would almost call it a pro-life slant, as not only are all of our readings pro-life in some way, shape or form, but pro-lifers also center the discussion around the fetus, while the pro-choice side tends to center it around the woman. I'm sure almost all you know my position on the issue, and though I've piped up a LOT during this whole debacle (the only person who has said more than me is the teacher himself), it isn't doing much good. There are still a bunch of stupid freshmen who continue to say things like, "since she made the decision to get pregnant" when we are not discussing a situation in which a woman has sex with a man in order to get pregnant, and they do not listen to me (or any of the other menstruating people in the class) when I tell them that conception is not voluntary, nor is ovulation. It doesn't matter that PIV sex can lead to pregnancy, becoming pregnant is NOT something you consciously do. It happens outside of your control if you have had PIV sex. FUCKING DUH, PLEASE GO BACK TO FIFTH GRADE SCIENCE. I've managed to kick their ass, though. It's very rewarding, once they shut up. But it's extremely frustrating.

Also, do you know what else is frustrating? Straight people who think they have a gaydar. Assfriend said today in forum that he thought Katy Perry's song "Ur So Gay" was funny, and I told him it wasn't funny, it was offensive. So then he starts on this whole spiel about gay men who are in the closet but you can tell they're gay because they exhibit something that he didn't say because I cut him off (knowing he would say "effeminate tendencies" or something to that effect, because that's what I was pointing out to him was wrong with the song) and told him that straight people do not have gaydars. No, sorry, they don't. When a straight person says they have a gaydar, it means they can see gay stereotypes. People who are actually queer are better at spotting people who are also actually queer because we are able to see behavior that we exhibited as well as closeted or out people. It's like a sixth sense. We have the experiences and we can see them in other people. Straight people do not have the experiences and therefore cannot see them in other people.

ETA: And, because most of my recent posts have been negative, I thought I should add that the weather today was spectacular. IT IS 67 DEGREES, AAAAAAAAAAH. Two months ago I had a "You know you live in Michigan when..." moment when I walked out into 20 degree weather and my first thought was, "It's so warm!" -___-

D: + :D

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 01:39:54 GMT

- I hit another Zingerman's truck in the parking lot today. This one left a mark on my bumper, too. I was backing out of a spot and thought I had room to back up just a liiiiitle bit more. I didn't. Oops.

- I am *so* proud of myself. I wrote my essay for Angela's Ashes in two days. All it needs is a bit of editing and a title and it will be done. Senioritis, my ass.

- I have completely, irrevocably fallen in love with Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex. I'm a little more than halfway through 2nd gig and it makes me sad to know that after 2nd gig is just the movie Solid State Society and then it's over. :( It's soooo awesome. As per usual, I've latched onto one of the minor characters who will never get more than one or two quick appearances each episode as one of my favorites. I have to watch most of the episodes twice to understand them completely, but aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh it's so awesome.

- Yesterday I discovered Pandora. It's amazing. I've found so much awesome music on it, and besides that it's good background noise for when I'm working. I have a relatively small collection of music (~600 songs, compared to most of my friends who have ~10,000) and sometimes I get sick of hearing the same songs over and over again.

e___e + :D

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 22:31:17 GMT

So you know how I got most of my hair chopped off the summer between sophomore and junior year? I finally got around to mailing off the hair that got cut off to Locks of Love today. I was cleaning up my desk (which is now spotless and organized and amazing) and found it sitting in a box. Kind of gross and creepy, but at least I got it done. Still, it was weird to hold it. It's weird enough to hold that much hair in your hand, let alone hair that used to be attached to your head. It is at least a foot long, so it's plenty for them. Still. Weeeeird.

Also, did anyone else watch the Oscars? I went to an Oscar-watching party and had a ton of fun, including yelling the lyrics to "Just Dance" at the top of my lungs with my friend at midnight while driving through downtown and blasting the song on my car stereo. I'm so, so glad that the Milk screenplay won in its category. The speech that the writer gave was the highlight of the night, I think.

and I thought I was going to enjoy this class.

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 21:35:58 GMT

Dear Philosophy textbook (and the one guy who wrote it),

You didn't just have to be extremely heteronormative. You didn't just have to assume that everyone reading this book goes to church. You also had to lump homosexuality in with incest, adultery, pedophilia and beastiality in the group of sexual behaviors whose ethics are questionable. I understand that there are arguments that homosexuality is "unethical", but that doesn't mean you have to actually validate them by listing homosexuality alongside all of these behaviors constantly. There are valid arguments that support the idea that adultery, pedophilia and beastiality are all unethical. There are no valid arguments (that I have heard) that support the idea that homosexuality is unethical. Why couldn't you follow the example of the side that sees homosexuality as ethically neutral when constructing your examples, instead of following the example of the side that thinks it is unethical? When is society going to realize that trying to argue that homosexuality is "unethical" or "wrong" is complete and total bullshit, and is an argument that should not even be entertained? I know society would not tolerate the argument, "Heterosexuality is wrong/unethical" for one second. Why not show the same courtesy to homosexuality?

I am getting really sick of reading the line, "such as incest, adultery and homosexuality." I know it seems like a small thing, but please forgive me if I do not like seeing my identity lined up next to breaking a lover's trust and child rape.

Incest, adultery and heterosexuality,

Ernie

x-posted to queer_rage

good + bad + $$$

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 01:27:16 GMT

I LOVE SHOPPING AND HERE IS WHY:

Today, I went to the mall with xolola and spent $40 at four different stores. For $40, I got:

- a steering wheel cover
- a thermal shirt (originally $24.50, got it for $7.63)
- a pair of jeans (originally $36, got them for $8 fuck yeah)
- a headband
- a pair of leggings

MWAHAHA.

The timing for the shopping was shitty, though. For the past two Saturdays I've had to leave early because they can't afford to pay me to stay for eight hours because there isn't enough business; yesterday I found out that from now until we get more business, Saturdays we are open from 11 to 3 instead of 9 to 5. So I work 5 hours per week, for $7/hour. Once taxes are taken out, I make $30 a week, down from $70. FUCK.

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 02:23:09 GMT

I just got back from seeing Milk. IT WAS SO GOOD. It changed my perspective on life. Really, it did. I have my criticisms (where the hell were the lesbians?) but it was still an amazing movie. GO SEE IT. GO GO GO.

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 01:52:15 GMT

- So the deal with the U of M application is that, because the teacher letter of recommendation came late, they can't look at the application until all the components are in, and looking at one application can take up to two months, they have not yet come to a decision about my application. They know that I tried to apply early action and will take that into account, it's simply a matter of the amount of time it takes to look at the application. This makes me feel a lot better.

- There are four movies I want to see: Slumdog Millionaire, Milk (going to see it this Friday), The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Gran Torino. For once I actually like a lot of the movies that are in the running for lots of Oscar nominations.

- UGH FINALS. Three essays, a project and a test. BLEHHH.

- My students in LGBT studies are writing their final research essays on very interesting topics. One is writing about the treatment of homosexuals in apartheid South Africa and the other is doing homosexuality in pre-British-fucking-up China. I am excited to read their essays.

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 01:35:21 GMT

I had a driving scare today. The roads have been snowy and icey and blehhh for the past couple days, and in order to get to school I have to turn from my neighborhood onto a major road (major road = four lanes of traffic going 50 mph), and since it's from a neighborhood, there's no stop light, just us turning into unstopping traffic. So I get to the stop sign before the road and hit the brakes. And nothing happens. So then the brake pedal plummets and the anti-lock brakes kick in. STILL NOTHING IS HAPPENING. My car is slowly but surely skating into incoming traffic, which thankfully at the time consisted of two cars. The car finally came to a stop right before the right lane, and I made my turn. As I was starting to turn, the back of my car started to skid and I could see another line of traffic coming. Thankfully I was able to correct the car before it really started fishtailing and got to school with no other incidences. BUT THAT WAS STILL SCARY.

And apparently, the Detroit automakers are selling Saab and Hummer and possibly getting rid of Pontiac, Mercury and Saturn. I don't know why, but when I heard that I got all sad (except for Hummer, because they were the dumbest idea for a car I've ever heard). Even though I only like Saabs to begin with and it's not like I'm in any position to buy any of those cars. I don't even know what to think of the whole automaker-bailout idea, and I live here for deity's sake.

Sat, 01 Nov 2008 23:23:59 GMT

I finished The Well of Loneliness. It was really, really good, and really depressing. But mostly good.

So now I need another book to read for Pop Lit, and all the books I can think of are books that the library doesn't have or that I've already read. Suggestions, plz? What are some really good books that you all have read lately? (they don't have to be fiction.)

LOLOL.

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 03:28:52 GMT

Sarah Palin did the following:

- WINKED AT THE CAMERA (WTF)
- said, "They [the terrorists] hate us. For our freedoms." It was hilarious.
- said lots about freedom in her closing statement, but I didn't quite get what she actually meant by all of it.
- refused to answer questions in lieu of bringing up other topics that had already been beaten death/would be brought up later anyway
- pimped out Alaska like nobody's business.
- described global warming as being caused by part man-made stuff, and part "natural cyclic climate change". NO WRONG STFU GO BACK TO FRESHMEN YEAR EARTH SCIENCE.
- would not let go of the (completely wrong, already refuted) assertion that Obama will RAISE YOUR TAXES because he's a liberal and liberals like to RAISE YOUR TAXES
- said, in response to Joe Biden saying that raising taxes for those making over $250,000 a year isn't "class warfare", it's just "fair", "Raising taxes isn't patriotic." WHAT THE HELL WHERE DID THAT COME FROM.
- used the pronunciation "nukular" (several times. I loled so hard)
- said to Biden, "I'm so encouraged by the fact that we both love Isreal." ARE YOU SERIOUS?
- said at the end of the debate, "I like getting to answer tough questions."

I can't wait to see what SNL does with this.

You've got to be kidding me.

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 14:01:17 GMT

"Couple fight gender-neutral language in wedding license"

Last month, Rachel Bird exchanged vows with Gideon Codding in a church wedding in front of family and friends. As far as Bird is concerned, she is a bride.

To the state of California, however, she is either "Party A" or "Party B."

Those are the terms that have replaced "bride" and "groom" on the state's new gender-neutral marriage licenses. And to Bird and Codding, that is unacceptable.

"We are traditionalists – we just want to be called bride and groom," said Bird, 25, who works part time for her father's church. "Those words have been used for generations and now they just changed them."

[...]

And Rachel Bird described her position as "personal – not religious."

"We just feel that our rights have been violated," she said.

These poor people. How will they ever cope with their marriage documents using the legal terms (y'know, the kind found on all the other legal documents) "Party A" and "Party B" instead of the traditional laymen terms "bride" and "groom"? LOOK AT HOW OPPRESSED THEY ARE.

via Feministe

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 22:19:15 GMT

All right, hetero male who is an otherwise awesome person except for this aspect, please ride your bike straight into the middle of Division Street and wait for the light to turn green.

I don't even know where to start. Basically, I got into a conversation/argument with him today after the senior meeting, and he said a shitload of privileged, assholish things regarding oppression, especially homophobia and racism (and, get this: HE'S FILIPINO). The argument started because he said "That's so gay", I asked him not to use that phrase, and he kept defending it. It's such a trivial issue, but it pisses me off that so many people think that "That's so gay" isn't offensive or homophobic. The worst is that it's really hard for me to argue why "that's so gay" *is* offensive and homophobic. I've used the argument that saying "that's so gay" instead of "that's stupid/shitty" is using someone's identity as an insult, but he kept saying that "the meanings of words change". And it was hard for me to explain it anyway else, because it's something that I feel more than I know as something that can be put into words. You know?

sdfghjkl; This is so frustrating. One of my least favorite things in the world is when I find out that really cool people believe really bigoted things.

This is the part where I start freaking out.

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 21:34:05 GMT

Okay, now that the first day of school is getting closer, I'm starting to get really nervous about my class. I'm worried that what I do won't live up my students' expectations, that I'll screw up, that I've bitten off more than I can chew. I'm excited for it, but all that excitement is being drowned in the anxiety. I just finished practicing for one of my presentations, and I'm super worried that what I have planned for a number of classes won't last the whole 90 minutes. Not to mention the fact that I'm not done will all the stuff that I need for the class.

AARGH. I need to stop being so nervous.

...*runs off to play Harry Potter*

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 14:48:23 GMT

I am now officially old enough to watch R-rated movies without a parent/guardian. HURRAH.

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 22:22:05 GMT

Today xolola and I went to Target for school supplies and Claire's for random stuff. Apparently, Claire's (a chain aimed at preteen/young teen girls) carries various body jewelry for piercings other than ear piercings, and it got xolola and I talking about what piercings we'd like to get. So I'm still thinking about it, and I know a few of you on the f-list have a variety of body piercings, so I wanted to ask y'all about it.

I'm thinking of an eyebrow piercing and/or nose piercing. Maybe a lip piercing. Are any of these particularly painful/dangerous/uncomfortable? I'm mostly worried about pain because when I got my ears pierced in sixth grade, I burst into tears at the pain. Then again, I've had to re-open the one hole that hasn't closed up permanently countless times, and I can handle that. And it's been six years since then.

my update list, let me show you it.

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 21:40:28 GMT

- Yesterday I received my checks and debit card for my checking account. No more carry cash around everywhere. Yay for convenience.

- Two weeks until school starts. This summer is unequivocally the fastest summer I've ever experienced. I don't really remember July at all. It feels like we finished junior year last week, instead of two months ago. I'm excited for school, but not as excited as I've been in the past, since it's my last year of high school. I want to get the hell out of high school, of course, but I'm not looking forward to the stress + work involved with college applications. Especially since the cheapest college I'm looking at costs $18,000/year. And that's my safety school, so I probably won't be going to that one.

- Speaking of school, I need to finish the stuff for my class. I have yet to make more than ten presentations, and I'm only half finished with another ten. @_@ I have no regrets so far, but urgh. It looks like my goal of getting it all done over the summer won't be reached. I'm not looking forward to having to work on the class during the school year.

- Music plug: A friend of mine introduced me to My Dear Disco a month or so ago. They're a band out of Ann Arbor whose lead singer is a lesbian, and they're AWESOME. They call themselves "dance think music", but as far as official genres go, they're very techno. They've got an EP out that you can get on iTunes (and probably from Amazon), and their MySpace has a bunch of songs on it. Check 'em out.

Sat, 09 Aug 2008 02:11:01 GMT

"Edwards admits to extramarital affair"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 23:36:35 GMT

Tomorrow, my family and I are leaving for New England. We will visit colleges and family. And we're driving through Canada to get there quickly. Tragic, I will wave in the general direction of Toronto when we get kind of close to it. Hopefully, we will have better luck coming back into the United States than last time. We went to some peninsula in Ontario for a day trip about a month after 9/11, and got stuck on the Ambassador Bridge for three hours coming back into Detroit because security was pretty much on every illegal narcotic known to mankind. And the bridge was swaying while we were on it and it freaked me out. Even though the bridge is supposed to do that.

Oh, and I got my new laptop. Dell Inspiron 1525 in sunshine yellow, with 4 GB RAM and 120 GB harddrive. It has Windows Vista (BLECH BLECH BLECH) and is one of the most awesomest (lol bad grammar) things I own. It came at just the right time too, because my old computer (also a Dell, but about seven or eight years old) was starting to get slow and obnoxious like the one I had before that.

So, yeah. I'll have internet access, but I probably won't post to livejournal because I'll be busy. We should be back by Saturday the 16th (almost a week before my birthday!). Yeah.

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 17:03:49 GMT

- Apparently, Mike and Bryan confirmed at San Diego Comic Con that Jet is dead. DAMN IT.

- Over the summer I've become completely enamored with TLC's show Jon and Kate Plus Eight. It's about a family with a set of twins and a set of sextuplets. I don't quite know why I love the show so much, considering the fact that I don't ever want any kids of my own, but I do. It's very interesting.

- I've also come to love The B-52's, who I grew up listening to on car rides because my parents love them. The other day I found out that pretty much everybody in the band is some form of queer except for one of the female singers, which threw me for a loop because I'd grown up thinking they were all straight.

- I might have the chance to buy our family friend's old Buick Regal for $1000. If I save up some more money I could afford it, but I would have no way of paying for gas during the school year unless I magically nab a job soon, even though the car gets laughably good gas mileage for an American car made in the 90s. It would be a really good deal on that car, but I can't be sure that I'd be able to gas it up (regular unleaded gas around here is $4.25/gallon). It doesn't help that last night I had a dream that our neighbor gave us a new Mercedes-Benz station wagon, and we were going to trade it in for a Prius. IF ONLY.

good job, Newsweek

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 23:00:17 GMT

Wow, Newsweek. Way to be five months late, and then write a terrible article about it.

I'm getting really sick of people labeling the murder of Lawrence King as only an anti-gay hate crime. It wasn't just anti-gay, it was also anti-gender nonconformity. Lawrence King was murdered for his gender expression AND his sexual orientation. The Newsweek article frames it as if Lawrence King wearing heels, make-up and jewelry were a part of him being gay, instead of a part of his gender expression. Not only does it make the underlying issues of gender expression and identity completely invisible, it perpetuates that stereotype that men can't be effeminate without being gay, and that being effeminate is a characteristic of being gay. The article likes to talk about how Lawrence has become a gay rights icon, but fails to interview any gay rights organizations. Instead, it opted to interview a few people who would rather say that the school could have prevented Lawrence's murder, not by teaching the students to accept each other's differences and to resolve conflict in a non-violent way, but by preventing Lawrence from expressing himself and forcing him to stop dressing and acting in an effeminate manner. But they're not *blaming* Lawrence for his death, goodness no, they're just saying that this all could have been prevented if he hadn't been so controversial. The victim blaming is nauseating, as are the anti-gay language and assumptions present in the article. The author uses the phrase, "flaunting his sexuality" and explains the dilemma many middle schools are facing when dealing with gay students with this sentence: "How do you protect legitimate, personal expression while preventing inappropriate, sometimes harmful, behavior?" Because gay students being open about their sexual orientation is likely to lead to "inappropriate" behavior, apparently. The author did a good job implying that "inappropriate" and "sometimes harmful" behavior are a part of being gay, as well as making it out as if the only way to know that you're gay is if your attractions are sexual.

Of course, Newsweek has never exactly had a good track record with LGBT issues in my book. They almost never cover them, and when they do there's nothing about transgender people at all, and they never cover issues other than marriage (except for this article, which is such a failure on so many levels that I wouldn't count it). Still, I was expecting better than this. Good job, Newsweek. You've lost what little reverence I had left of you.

-_-

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 23:28:08 GMT

This afternoon I was so busy reading Jet/Zuko fanfiction at jetheartszuko that I forgot to eat. .__. Oops. Last night I hardly got any sleep because I kept randomly waking up and remembering, "AVATAR'S OVER T___T". So I got up at ~8:30 AM and switched between watching Brokeback Mountain on Bravo and The Birdcage (which is insanely hilarious) on AMC.

Also, I'm in the middle of writing a post-Avatar "where did the gays go?" post, meaning I'm taking my only large criticism of the show and explaining it. :B I am SO out of it right now, and I have so much work to do with my class. D: That's probably why this post is all over the place. blehhhh.

no title needed.

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 02:08:26 GMT

As predicted, I am bawling my eyes out. That was seriously the most spectacular, epic, amazing finale I've ever seen to any series (and you all know how cynical I am). This beats Harry Potter. I have my qualms (pretty much every minor character that ever appeared in the show came back EXCEPT JET ASDFGHJKL; MY HEART IS BROKEN; I can't stand any of the pairings that happened, but that's such a minor thing it doesn't really matter), but they are very few and very far in between, and they haven't got a chance of overshadowing the rest of the finale's fantastic-ness. All in all, that was fucking amazing and I'm so, so sad that Avatar is over. So, so, so sad. It is a great series, and it's certainly inspired me throughout its three-year run. I taped the finale so I'm going to watch it again sometime, maybe come up with a more coherent and not-all-over-the-place post about it. The entire time I was watching it, I couldn't believe how good it was. It was above and beyond what I expected.

How about the rest of you? What did you think?

The Ember Island Players.

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 00:48:43 GMT

engelen, you are going to love this episode.

That was GREAT. Was I the only one who saw the subtle jabs at fandom? Here are my favorite parts:

- play!Katara's constant cleavage and drama queen abilities
- play!Zuko dying, then real!Zuko going all o__o and the Gaang all looking over at real!Zuko at the same time
- Jet's Dragonball Z hair

Speaking of Jet:

Zuko: Did Jet just...die?
Sokka: We're not sure, it was really unclear.

I think I heard some sorrow in Zuko's voice when he said that. You could just hear his heart snapping in two.

WAAAH AVATAR ENDS TOMORROW. SADFACE. Zuko better not die. I will have to rip up my Appa plushie if Zuko dies.

Thoughts on the episode? Theories about the finale?

moar avatar.

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:43:21 GMT

These episodes seem REALLY short. I guess I'm used to watching programs with hour-long episodes.

So, The Boiling Rock and the Southern Raiders were AMAZING. I'm glad Katara and Zuko were able to resolve their problems (and I'm glad Katara's back in character and not acting like a preteen). And, OMG, Ty Lee and Mai finally kicked Azula's ass. YEAHHHH.

Also, where the fuck is Iroh? We need some Dragon of the West, stat.

Now I'm actually getting sad that the series is almost over. :'( I knew this would come, but since I'd lost most of my interest I didn't think I'd get all that emotional. Expect me to be in tears Saturday night at 9 o'clock. (though it won't be as teary as when I finished HP7.) It's kind of hard to believe it's almost over because this season has been so chopped up and weird. It makes me all nostalgic and shit to think back to the times when I was a part of the fandom and all I could think about was OMG NEW AVATAR ON FRIDAY and I spent most of my Gaia time in the ATLA thread and got pissed at the stupid people that resided there (and had spectacular conversations with the awesome people). Then there was all the guessing about what was going to happen with the show, and theories and the chats about CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT and of course, the ship warz (which I do not miss at all). And then, there was Jet/Zuko madness, and then Jet DIED and I was all WTF U CAN'T DO THAT. (I'm of the opinion that he's going to show up during the finale. I know it. Really. SERIOUSLY.) And I remember when we were all OMG THREE MONTHS IS SUCH A LONG WAIT between seasons 1 and 2 (Season 1 finale is still my favorite), then there was the wait for Secret of the Fire Nation and the spoiler madness surrounding that. SDFGHJKL THIS IS MAKING ME SAD. :( I am a nostalgic sap.

I'm going to have to find some other fandom to froth over. Suggestions? Thoughts on the last couple episodes?